


The Dark Days

by ProtagonistChan



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:08:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23858101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProtagonistChan/pseuds/ProtagonistChan
Summary: Crowley struggles with keeping his feelings tucked away.Or: what happens when I’m feeling Big Sad at 1am and decide to make some angst
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8





	1. Present Day

_ Today was a dark day.  _

Crowley hates the dark days. He would say all the things he didn’t mean, he’d lie and cheat and trick to try and ignore what was really wrong. 

Azriaphale didn’t understand what Crowley had meant when he said ‘dark day’, which was brutally evident when he advised him to light some candles if it was dark.

_ Candles _ , something practically banned around the demon. Candles flickered with flames that were all too reminiscent of those in a _church_ , not unlike the one he saved his angel from.  _Candles_ to  _fire_ to  _church_ to  _Him_ , to  _**Her** _ . It took him back to his fall. Aziraphale, ever his source of light, was about to see him for the first time since they’d met on a dark day. 

Crowley was having a rough time, what he thought was a day, maybe 3 was almost a month. He’d hardly moved from his throne. He was trapped in his thoughts, thoughts of his fall, of all the times he disappointed Aziraphale, of the bookshop burning, of the threat he had uttered to spur the demon to action.

He didn’t known he’d cried until he felt the drops landing onto his chest, he certainly hadn’t noticed the angel’s presence, trapped in a prison of thoughts of his own devising.

“ _Oh, my dear boy_... ” The words startled the demon, he reached first for his ears, as if the words had burned them, then cast his eyes towards the source. 

_That look_. The one he hated to see. Crowley couldn’t help looking away. He couldn’t stand seeing the angel, feeling guilty for falling into his own trap. “Crowley. I was so _worried_... a few days wasn’t unusual but... but it turned to a _week_. And a week turned to two and- and I... well I thought I’d done something. I thought I’d give you your time.” Azriaphale reached for his friend, and couldn’t help but feel the pang I’d hurt he felt when the demon flinched away.

“ _...g’ way _ ” a murmur, rough and dry and  cold . No, no he must have heard wrong. “What was that, dear boy? ‘Fraid I didn’t hear you too well.” He let himself smile softly, surely he’d just missed part of what his friend had said. “ **_ Go. Away. _ ** ” Or... well maybe not. Aziraphale searched Crowley’s face.  Yes , _yes of course,_ this had to be one of his cruel jokes. Or, yes maybe it was Opposite Day! 

When his eyes caught the demonic ones staring back at him, he couldn’t help but flinch. The beautiful golden colour had been reduced to a muddy yellow at best, cloudy and tinges of red covering the corners. His irises had become slivers, even more so then usual. His gaze was cold and untrusting.

Crowley was practically screaming from inside himself. ‘ _ANGEL, angel, please, before I do.. before I say something. Before I hurt you. You must._ ’ 

Crowley was very good at keeping his walls up. Something he had to practice in the angel’s presence anyways. They, angels and demons, could feel emotions and Crowley couldn’t let himself be bared to the angel like that. So he locked it up, and unlike Pandora he never let any temptations, be it his own or Aziraphale’s unknowing ones, open that can of worms. He wanted his aura to be as impossible to read as he tried to make his expressions.

Azriaphale was too clever though. He came closer. “ _Crowley_ , come now, what’s wrong dear boy.” 

The demon could feel the heat welling up inside, flexing his hands. “ _What’s wrong_ ?! What’s wrong is someone who calls me a  fri ..  _no_ ,  _ no actually _ you said we aren’t friends, no _**you**_ _**don’t even like me** _ .” His words were dangerous, tipped with poison and drawing slowly at the angel, make the pain last as long as possible. “ _ What’s wrong _ is someone who I _thought_ was my  friend couldn’t even give me the decency to have some privacy in my own home.” He couldn’t stop the word vomit, he couldn’t fix all the leaks in time. His words were growing more venomous, and he could do nothing but speak and watch Aziraphale back away despite the fact Crowley had yet to stand, watch as he shivered more then his house plants. 

“What’s the matter,  **_ dear boy _ ** ? Here to make sure your enemy isn’t plotting behind your back. Well don’t worry. I won’t inconvenience you further,” he hated the sick, sadistic smile that pulled it’s way onto his lips. “Should Hell, should heaven, should The Almighty herself come down to take me away I’ll let them.” 

Crowley was fighting a losing battle. He could see the angel standing there, speechless, but was just as helpless as him.

“Don’t you worry about me, I’ve used that Holy Water, so I won’t even be able to give myself the easy ou-“

Finally he had stopped. Wait. Why has he stopped. Where was-

“ I’m _so_ sorry, Crowley . I- I should have known! Should have seen the signs. Well.. well of course I had, I’d known since that stroll in Saint James that it wasn’t purely defensive purposes but.. oh dear boy.”

‘Oh.’ Crolwey thought to himself, ‘he- he’s hugging me. He shoul- _I could_ \- **he can’t**! _What if-_ I...’ 

Crowley’s head swam, he couldn’t hold a thought together for long, everything, his whole being, was focused on Aziraphale. It had to be, it’s all he could do from slipping further away. 

“I’m  so sorry for letting you down my dear boy. I know, I can... well I can’t explain it but I can _sense_ you don’t mean it.  ** I forgive you ** . I, well I should have done better, taking care of you. It’s us against them, now and always Crowley.”

_**I forgive you** _ _**.**_ The words burned themselves further into Crowley’s brain. The demon flinched internally, remembering when the angel had used those same words when he called him stupid just before Armageddon’t.

“I hate you”  _I love you_.  “ ** I. Hate. You. ** ”  _**I love you**_ , _angel_ _._ _I’m sorry_. 

“ I’m sorry , dear boy. I left you when you needed help. You- you had tried- oh, oh god- oh you’d tried to tell me and I- the blasted fool I am- I- I didn’t realize...” Azriaphale was spiralling, they both knew it. 

**DAMN IT!** This is exactly what Crowley wanted to avoid. He hated to see his angel look so broken, so helpless, so...  _so much like him_ . 

Azriaphale shuddered, Crowley was so cold against him, more so then usual. He closed his eyes and focused, strained to feel Crowley, the  _true_ _Crowley._ It was as if he was on the other side of some glass. So, so close, the two could practically touch, but yet they were still separated. 

“Please.. Crowley _I’m_ _sorry_ , I’m so, so sorry. Please, I can’t stand to see you like this. I... I missed you.”

Crowley scoffed at that. He felt himself slipping into even more darkness. ‘ _Sure sure. Missed me. Missed the excuses to go out, more like_ ’ he caught himself thinking. 

Crowley could feel himself, his true self, clawing towards the angel. He just needed to reach a little further, ‘ _ crawl a little more, crawley.  **Slither you stupid snake** . _ ’ 

He was so close. He hardly had to move to reach him, yet he felt as though no matter how much he moved he never got closer. 

“I.. shou- should I leave? I.. I uhmm.. well I know you’re having a.. a rough time but... well _I’m here for you_.”

No. No, no _no no_ , _**NO**_!! Stop him! He can’t. I’ll.. I don’t.. I can’t! **MOVE**!

Azriaphale was already getting up when he felt a tug. He saw a pale hand clutching ever so lightly at his coat. ’ _He’s in there._ ’  Aziraphale thought to himself. ‘ _He needs me, and I was going to leave him_ _again_ _. What was I even thinking..._ ’

“Alright,” he said, trying to hold back the smile, the joy, “I’ll stay. It’s ok, take your time dear boy. I’ll be right here. I.. oh, oh Crowley..”

The demon’s sleeve had pulled up a little from the motion and Aziraphale’s eyes were trained on the scratch marks covering his inner arm. He took Crowley’s arm at the elbow, slowly and softly, kneeling before him and carefully rolling the sleeve up, seeing that the scratch marks, the bleeding, had went all the way up to just before the bend of his elbow. He took his friend’s other arm, rolling the sleeve just as carefully and seeing the same damage. 

“ _Why_... you’re already torturing yourself, why must you...” Azriaphale couldn’t hold it any longer, the tears spilled down and onto Crowley’s lap. “My dear boy. _Please_ , let me help you. I can... _I can’t take this_. I could be patient, stay as long as you need, but this.. _this is too much._ ”

“ _..._ _zria...ale_ ” Azriaphale shot his head up to match Crowley’s, seeing some of the cloudiness of his eyes pass, his features loosening some. He pushed back a sob.

Crowley had done the last thing he could think of. The only thing left to break himself free. He took down the lock, he opened up and let everything spill out. Azriaphale must have felt it, because Crowley watched as he processed everything. He closed his eyes, letting it washing over him as well.


	2. 4004 BC

Crowley felt himself drawn to the top of the wall, having seen something  _pure_ , something so bright it practically burned his eyes away during his days of lounging around as a snake, and like a magnet felt himself get pulled to it. He wanted to see, to touch whatever it was that was so uncorrupted he could only compare it to the Almighty. To his shock, a man, no... no not a man, an angel, stood up there. Oh... it was his enemy. It was the person he was meant to be opposing directly, the angel who he was never supposed to meet, to make aware of his existence.

He carefully let himself change into his corporeal form, looking out into the desert where Adam and Eve had travelled.

“Well, that went down like a lead balloon.” What... did he..  _what had he just said_ ? That  **was** him, wasn’t it??

“Heh... S-sorry what was that?” The angel spoke, but Crowley had trouble focusing on what he said. The tone, his voice was sweet in the air, like honey. Full of sugar and nature and golden, pure wonderfulness.

“I said that went down like a lead balloon.” Thank g-  _Satan_ , at least his quick wit was still intact. He couldn’t help but stare at the angel, entranced by his pale blonde hair, and his well kept wings, the small breeze practically making him sparkle.

“ Yes .. yes, it did, rather..” Crowley hated the note of sadness he felt in the angels voice. He wanted to protect him, to wrap him up and keep him safe from anything that would make him even the smallest bit sad like that ever again.

‘ _ I need to say something... something,  **anything** , keep him talking! _ ’ Crowley was scared what would happen when the angel realized what he was. Surely he hadn’t yet, or he would have discorporated him.

“Bit of an overreaction, if you ask me.” He could see the angel shoot him a sideways glance.  **_ Shit _ ** . Of all the things to say, why did you have to say that! Why not just tell him what hell smells like while you’re at it  _ you stupid snake _ !!

‘ _ No... no it’s okay, I can fix this.. just uh... just explain what I meant! _ ’ 

“First offence and everything.”  For the love of ... anger swelled in him.  ** Why ** , why did he have to try and keep that cool, nonchalantness that was expected of demons. The angel must have felt the emotion because he was all but looking at the demon head on, confusion and maybe just a bit of fear etched onto his face, but yet, he remained silent.

“I can’t see.. what’s so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil ‘nyway.” _What_. _The_. _**Fuck**_. He did, of course, mean what he said. If one didn’t know the difference then the angel and the demon could have just been normal people, could have connected without that ingrained rule of being enemies and hating each other. The demon groaned internally.

‘ _ Well done, Crawley, if you had any chance before you just blew it. Enjoy the paperwork you fool. _ ’

“Well.. well it must be bad.... e- y.. u-“ the angel stared at the demon, a little helpless. Why was he still talking and not, well... stabbing? Slashing him to bits! What did he even want from the demon?? His nam- oh. Oh yes of course, it’s to make him drop his guard and to let heaven know exactly which demon he’d ran through.

“ _Crawley_ ” he supplied. May as well, if downstairs ever asked he could just say ‘ _They’re all-knowing, of course they could find his name._ ’

“... _Crawley_ .” The demon softened, ready for his fate. If he had to go, getting to hear his name come from the angel’s lips was a better fair well gift then he could ever hope for.

“Otherwise... you wouldn’t have tempted them into it.” The angel said, a smile on his lips but not quite in his eyes. A polite, trained look.

‘ _Sick bastard, what, is he going to wait until I’m completely defenceless before kicking me down?_ ’ Crowley had thought to himself, though he had to admit he’d deserve it. In a sense, he’d already betrayed the angel, tempting the humans to eat the Apple that he was meant to guard. ‘ _Well... well that’s fine._ ’ He thought, ‘ _I can just keep talking. It’d be nice to hear more from the angel..._ ’

“Ohh.. they just said, ‘get up there and make some trouble.’” Well it wasn’t a lie. That, well that was a start, he supposed.

“Well obviously. You’re a demon. It’s what you do...” Shit. _Shit, shit,_ **shit**! He knew, any hope that he might have been ignorant was gone, the jig was up, and the look. The look he had given Crowley made his heart ache, somewhere between disappointment and unsure. Definitely not comfortable, like he had hoped.

‘ _May as well keep going, then. Get as much out of this as I can before.._ ’ Crowley felt his mind try to chase away the thought.

“Not very subtle of the Almighty, though. Fruit tree in the middle of a garden with a ‘Don’t Touch’ sign. I- emm- I mean why not put it on the top of a high mountain? Or on the  moon ?” It was like he was back  up there , asking questions that he would surely be punished for. Yet it was all true, he did wonder  why the Almighty would make it so accessible if it was the one thing the humans could do to lose her love. He watched how the angel’s eyes raised upwards carefully but quickly went back to watching the desert ahead of them.

“Makes you wonder what God’s really planning...”

“Best not to speculate.” The angel replied, and Crowley had to stop his heart from swelling, from letting out a wave of love and excitement that would surely scare him off. There wasn’t a pause of a gap at all, it was like they were really having a conversation. ‘ _Well_ ,’ Crowley thought to himself, ‘ _ we  **are** having a conversation _ ,’ but it was meant to be something akin to a last meal.

“It’s all part of the Great Plan. It’s not for us to understand.” The angel paused, seeming a little unsure of what to say next. Crowley tried to send some encouragement from all around, as if She was pushing him forward, not the demon standing next to him. “It’s ineffable.”

“The Great Plan’s ineffable??” He all but groaned. That sure seemed like Her alright. Make a plan and then decide not to tell anyone, let them all figure it out themselves, let it hang above their heads.

“Exactly. It is beyond understanding, and incapable of being put into words.” The angel replied, pleased. He seemed to really be treating this like it’s the first time he’s got to speak in ages, as if he was never allowed to use his own voice, not his  _voice_ voice but  ** his voice ** , the one everyone has deep down.

Not that Crowley minded, but why was the angel still just casually conversing with him? Surely he could talk with the humans or something, maybe fellow angels, if he was really in need of a chat that badly.

‘ _Just take the sword and run me through!_ ’ He all but yelled inside himself. In that moment, something clicked.

“Didn’t you have a flaming sword?”

“-uh..”

“You did. It was flaming like anything. What happened to it?!” Yes, what had happened to it? Is that the reason the angel hadn’t done him in? Surely he could have used a small miracle to summon something to kill the demon. He couldn’t truly enjoy having him around, could he?

“Uhhh....” the angel said, shaking his head slightly.

“Lost it already, have you?”

“...gave it away.”

‘ _You what?!_ ’ He felt himself yelling internally.

“You  _**what** _ ?” Ah. Less internal that time.

“I gave it away!!” The angel practically cried. “There are vicious animals. It’s going to be cold.. and she’s expecting already!!” The demon couldn’t help but stare at the angel, all but crumbling in front of him, continuing to speak as though he had to justify his acts to his enemy, or maybe even to himself. “And I said here you go, flaming sword, don’t thank me.... and don’t let the sun go down on you here.”

The angel shuttered a little, and Crowley felt himself melting. He wanted to comfort the angel again, to use his ability to tempt others to tempt the angel into forgiving himself, anything he could to make sure he never had to hear him sound so hurt for as long as he knew him.

“Oh.. I do hope I didn’t do the wrong thing.”

It was here,  _ a chance _ . “ Ohhh , you’re an angel. I don’t think you can do the wrong thing.”

The angel melted, seeming relieved. “Oh- oh thank, oh thank you. Well- it’s been bothering me.”

Crowley all but tore his eyes away from the angel’s face and made them follow his, seeing the humans and a lion.

“I’ve been worrying, too.” What was he doing? Was this the angel’s trap?! Get him comfortable and force him to open up. Stop,  ** stop talking ** . “What if I did the right thing with the whole ‘eat the apple’ business..?” No no no,  _slam the breaks_ . Stop talking  ** now ** . That’s it. Don’t open up any further. “A demon can get into a lot of trouble for doing the right thing.”

He felt himself staring at the angel, as if it could help him stop talking. He couldn’t stand the silence between them, and felt it come out again.

“It’d be funny if we both got it wrong, eh? If I did the good thing and you did the bad one.” He chuckled. It would be funny. What would their respective leaders say then. The same result had be achieved but they’d done it wrong. The angel chuckled a little too, but then seemed to snap out of it.

“No! It wouldn’t be.. funny at all.”

“Well...” Crowley felt the tang of guilt. ‘ _Oh_ .’ He had hurt the angel this time.

It then started raining, and Crowley panicked internally as if it was holy water, but the angel lifted his wing to protect the demon, and he carefully shuffled toward him. He didn’t even know the angel’s name yet, and he could still tell he’d trust him more then he trusted himself. They balanced the other, and he wanted nothing more than to freeze time in that moment and enjoy it for as long as possible. 


	3. 3004 BC

Thunder cracked over head, as lightning danced in the sky. Crowley didn’t much care for rainy days, it reminded him of his angel. He’d hardly seen him since that day a thousand years ago. He had managed to get a name one day, overhearing the Almighty call him Azriaphale.

_Azriaphale_. The name was so wonderful, and suited him perfectly. It sounded dignified and yet somehow homely. He had followed the angel, subtlety of course.

He didn’t want to do his job anymore, not if it meant he’d do things that would make Azriaphale disappointed in him. He just wanted the angel to always look at him with that warm, caring smile. He was now sure Azriaphale would never ever try and trap him let alone harm him.

He was standing a short distance away and Crowley could feel all his conflicting feeling flying wild, confusion, hurt, _sadness, **broken trust**. **Pain**._

Someone hurt _his angel_ , and he wasn’t about to stand for it. He casually, or as casually as he could, moved next to the angel who watched the pairs of animals board the ship.

“Hello Azriaphale!” He couldn’t disguise the joy in his voice. He got to talk to his angel, who broke heavens rules without asking, who remained unfallen. His light on the darkest of days. Literally, _and_ figuratively.

“Crawley.” The angel replied curtly, nerves present in his voice. Another emotion he had to lock away, the caring, the need to protect him, the worry that something was wrong. He couldn’t let any of it show, he needed to be nonchalant and cool in front of Azriaphale, to let something be a constant in each others lives.

“ _So_. Giving the mortals a flaming sword. How did that work out for you?” He couldn’t help his teasing tone. After the brief chat with the Almighty, Crowley had slithered around from where he was more or less hiding to offer to help him get the sword back but Azriaphale insisted the humans should keep it.

“Eh.. mm.. The Almighty has never actually mentioned it again..” Crowley couldn’t tell if that was good or bad, but honestly he could never tell anything when it came to Her games.

“Probably a good thing... What’s all this about? Build a big boat and fill it with a travelling zoo??”Crowley was trying to focus himself on to something other then the angel standing so close to him they were practically shoulder to shoulder.

“From what I hear, God’s a bit _tetchy_.” The two exchanged a long look, and Crowley was more then pleased to have the chance to stare into Aziraphale’s eyes.

“Wiping our the human race. _Big storm_.” Crowley cracked a little as he looked around at the those around him. ‘ _All of them_?’ He pondered. It seemed odd, why would she choose now to destroy her creation.

“Just the locals” Azriaphale answered, alerting Crowley to the fact his question wasn’t kept within his own head. “I don’t believe the Almighty’s upset with the Chinese. Or the Native Americans. Or the Australians.”

“ ** _Yet_**.” Crowley couldn’t help but spit out. How could she do this. She was supposed to be a source of all that was truly good and holy. What was holy about killing _innocents_? ‘ _What was holy about casting us out..._ ’ he felt a twinge in his heart. He needed to stop that train of thought there. His eyes were now trained upwards, as if hoping the clouds would spell out how long they had.

“And God’s not actually going to wipe out all the locals, I mean, Noah, up there, his family, his sons and their wives. They’re all going to be fine.” Crowley could hardly believe what he was hearing.

“But they’re _drowning_ everybody else?” Crowley felt his eyes flare with pain and anger as Aziraphale’s facade broke and he formed a tight lip nod.

He looked around, and saw the kids playing. He always had a soft spot for kids. Kids reminded him of himself. “ _Not the kids_ , you can’t kill kids.”

He saw Aziraphale practically on the brink of tears, felt his pain like static shocks strike at Crowley. “ _Mm-hmm_.” Was all he could get out. Crowley couldn’t hide his disgust anymore. His thoughts rotten enough he’s sure the Almighty would have struck him down had he not been so close to one of Her favourites.

“Well that’s more the kind of thing you’d expect my lot to do.” He said, watching the sky, as if he could spot the Almighty up there and get her attention to give her an earful. He didn’t particularly care what happened, although admittedly he didn’t like the whole killing kids business, but _Aziraphale_... he hated to see his angel so stressed out. He clearly didn’t want to get on her bad side yet all the same he didn’t want to allow this.

“Yes but... when it’s done.. uh.. the Almighty’s going to put up a new thing, called a ‘ _rain bow_ ’. As a promise, not to drown everyone again.”

“How kind...” Crowley sassed for both of them. He knew his angel was barely holding it together.

“You can’t judge the Almighty, Crawley. God’s plans are-“

“Are you going to say ‘ _ineffable_ ’?”

There was a long silence, which gave Crowley all the answer he needed. “Possibly...” the angel still said, as if it needed to be, as if Crowley hadn’t already learned basically all of his tells.

Crowley needed something to lighted the mood, to ensure he wouldn’t see his angel break. A loud whine from a horse snapped him out of his thoughts as he saw a unicorn galloping away. “ **OY SHEM**! That unicorn’s going to make a run for it! _Nuh_ \- Oh it’s too late. It’s too late!!” Crowley could feel numerous eyes on him, but was relieved to find that his shouting had at least broken Azriaphale somewhat from his solemn mood.

‘ _Come on, think. Something to pull him all the way out. Something dumb._ ’ He knew Azriaphale wouldn’t be able to ignore a stupid remark, especially not from the demon, not now.

“Well you’ve still got one of them!” He shouted as more thunder cracked overhead, rain now falling much faster then it had the first time. The people around him were both worried and exited for the rain.

“ _You’ve still got the one_?” Aziraphale echoed. His disbelief was all but tangible, his frustrations now directed entirely at Crowley. “Do you even _understand_ how.. well.. how **that** works!?!”

The demon couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at his lips, “How _what_ works, angel?” His demonic heart swelled watching Aziraphale’s stutter and blushing face, seeing his eyes flashing so many emotions and feeling content now that his angel was somewhat pulled from his rut.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it. If you’ll excuse me, I have a small bit of business” he said, watching as a few parents yelled for Noah, offering their children. Parents always seemed to have a sixth sense for when danger may befall their child and it seemed no different now.

Crowley took a couple steps towards them when he felt a small tug on his sleeve. “ _Crawley_ you _can’t_ , it’s part of the Great Plan.” Crowley smirked. “Yes, _yes_ it would be truly _demonic_ to tempt Noah into _disobeying_ God’s plan.”

Azriaphale seemed to somewhat reject the answer, but his grip loosened and Crowley took the chance to strut away. He whispered temptations into the air, using a bit of intervention to slow Noah and his family from raising the wood they were using to get things onto the ship and waited until no one was looking to crack a few planks open, telling the parents to go in with their kids. They refused, asking him instead to save more children, and so Crowley did his best to do just that.

He had the parents go and inform the others. Azriaphale watched in dismay, unsure of what to do. Crowley watched as the water level raised far too quickly, already getting his feet soaked. Almost all the children were aboard when the walk way had been fully raised and like magic the boat started to float forwards.

_No_. **No** , there were only two left. He mostly sealed the hole he had made, and sprinted back for the children, his feet unstable as he slipped and stuck to the group. He managed to scoop them up and as the crowed has slimmed significantly he took the chance to use his wings to boost them to the boat before the water raised too high.

He had realized his mistake too late, crying out at the fresh sense of burning. His feathers and his feet and random patches of him stinging. Of _course_ the rain was falling more and quicker than he’d ever seen before. It was diluted Holy Water. Not enough to melt the demon, but more then enough for his senses to both heighten and dull, feeling every drop much more than before but his head grew more and more cloudy.

‘ _Just a bit more_ ’ he told himself. He would be able to go back to hell and recover after the kids were safely on the boat. The water was much higher now, but as he reached the boat he tucked his wings away again and all but threw the kids into the small hole he’d left before closing it completely.

Any adrenaline that was keeping him going before faded with the sense of urgency, and he felt himself fall. The burning sensation combined with the motion giving him horrible flashbacks to his _Fall_.

He never splashed into the water though, finding himself atop a piece of drift wood with his angel attached to it, pushing him to a small cave that had yet to fill.

“Azira-“ Crowley barely coughed out, feeling the angel checking his feet, his shoulders, brushing water off his face and using a small miracle to dry them both.

“ **You** \- you _foolish_ snake! Y-You _idiotic_ demon! What were you thinking?! Why didn’t you stop when your feet began to.. I- Oh _Crawley_ \- I was _so_ \- and _you_...” he began to cry and Crowley looked down. This is exactly what he’d hope to avoid and yet he caused it.

“... _‘m sorry angel_.. I.. well I couldn’t _leave_ them.. and I didn’t feel my feet burning, not really. Was too focused elsewhere. It.. it’s not that bad. Hey- _Azriaphale_..” he placed a careful hand on the side of the angel’s face. His breath caught in his throat. He was unsure what to do, but he felt downstairs calling for him.

“I gotta.. _I’m ssssorry_. Thank you.” He managed to rush out before being forced back to the basement, and immediately called for some hellfire.

He was never sure what Azriaphale had done after he’d left, where he’d gone, or the fate of those kids. He knew one thing though, it was the unofficial beginning of his box of emotions as he’d soon call it. He tucked everything away, taking a quick few breaths before hobbling off to Lord Beelzebub’s throne room. 


End file.
